On the mysterious emotional phenomenon called "Falling in Love"

Basic Principles: All Christians are called to love one another as brothers/sisters in Christ. Love is an act of the will, which is supported by a knowledge or an insight; an act of the intellect. And there is sometimes accompanying these two acts, a mysterious movement of the passions toward another person.

It is this mysterious emotional phenomenon; that is my chief concern in this little note. The phenomenon is called mysterious because it can be aroused almost instantaneously, without warning, though often at a recognizable starting point in time, and sometimes with no rational explanation as to why.

Yes, sometimes the passion is followed by and fueled by reason, likeness etc. The passion itself though, is not neccessarily dependent upon it.

The phenomenon is commonly called, "falling in love", an insightful phrase! For one is so vulnerable, so haphazard, so blind in movement and so insane, one could readily compare one's self to one who is falling blindly in the dark.

Here are some common symptoms of this epidemic, though they may vary according to case, degree and host;

1) Sleep deprivation caused by excessive absorption in the thought of the beloved.

2) A nearly constant state of distraction caused by excessive absorption in the thought of the beloved.

3) A distate for eating when it is not accompanied by the prescence of the beloved.

4) A distaste for any given activity that is not accompanied by the presence of the beloved.

5) An aversion to any flirtation with any other party besides the beloved.

6) A trembling of the hands caused by the sound of the beloved's voice.

7)A knocking of the kness caused by looking to deeply into the beloved's eyes or at his/her mouth.

8) A loss for words (even from those typically eloquent)in the presence of the beloved.

9) A tendency to tears at the slightest provocation (in the female).

10) A tendency towards annoyance at the slightest provocation (in the male).


Such are the symptoms. Looking at them in writing they appear rather irrational, but the practice, so I am told, feels the most reasonable hungering the soul can experience.

On matching clothing in general

It boggles my mind how many people I see who wear stuff on the street that should be in the garbage. I live in a small town, and I used to live in Southern California.

Over there the problem was people did not wear enough clothing for dignity.
Here the problem seems to be that nobody can see how dreadful they are making themselves look.

Yes, I admit it, there are outfits I have worn outside that did not flatter me, but that was for heavy housecleaning and yard work. It occured to me that I should not dress only for myself, but that other people have to look at me to, so I might as well make it worth their while.

All joking aside, every human being has an inherent beauty, especially women, so why would you not want to glorify it? (Unless it is for penitential reasons. Even then, why impose the penance on the people who see you?)

Today's culture does not help. The attitude is, this is my body, so I will just wear whatever is comfortable, even if it is ugly. And yet the Multi-billion dollar beauty industry sells how many magazines a year?

All of us women want to feel and be beautiful, and we are, so let's dress like we are. We are made in the image and likeness of God, we are temples of the Holy Spirit.

The three areas I want to address most are dignity, integrity, harmony, and splendor.

What are examples of clothing that is not dignified?

Low rider jeans that expose you when you bend over,

Tops exposing midriffs when one stretches or bends,

Plunging necklines designed specifically to expose one's breasts,

Clothing that clings to one's curves instead of flowing over them,

Teasing skirts,

Exposed bra seams, bra straps, bra colors, patterns, etc.

(Same goes for the other end)


What are examples of clothing that just screams dignity;

Tops with sleeves that draw attention to your waist,

Clothing that has embroidered or lace deatails,

Long skirts and dresses made out of soft, flowing material,

Shoes that are delicate and lady-like

Stockings (not ugly white ones that make you look like a Victorian school girl!)

Jewelry


What are examples of clothing that lacks integrity?

Destroyed jeans (I do not care if it is in or out, it does not make you look "real"
it makes you look like a beggar),

Wife beater shirts or ribbed tanks by themselves
(You are just walking around in underwear and you do not know it),

White under shirts with nothing over them

Stockings with holes in them

Anything with an obvious stain mark


What is an example of something lacking harmony?

Pairing a dress or skirt with tennis shoes (NO, no, no! BAD!)

Pairing a rain jacket or old coat over a nice dress

Ugly shoes

Pairing a sweatshirt or hoodie with a skirt and chapel veil (Good grief!)

Wearing a common T-shirt with a semi-formal skirt at a formal occasion,

Wearing a shapeless T-Shirt with a skirt,

Pairing a logo t-shirt with a patterned skirt

Mixing navy and black

Mixing Two or more patterns


What are examples of clothing that is lacking splendor

Wearing any color that does not go with your coloring

Wearing baggy or ill-fitting clothing

Wearing clothing that completly hides your shape

Wearing clothes that make you feel ugly or heavier


You get the idea.

Physical Stereotypes

It has often struck me (no doubt due partially to the melancholic element in my temperament), how people will interact with one another based upon an impression.

We are all aware (hopefully) of the classic scenario of Elizabeth Bennett and Fitzwilliam Darcy. However, I have in mind, at the moment, examples of how people will acquire a negative impression of another fellow human being based solely upon...their physical appearance.

I can certainly understand the temptation (however immature) to judge a person based upon things like, occupation in life, clothing style, worldly success and other such trifles.

But to judge a person based upon something that one has such little control of (namely how one looks) has always struck me as odd. More odd still, because it is so common. Odd, and sad.

It is a very old idea, aging at least back to the days of phrenology and physiognomy. No, truly it is as old as the original sin, itself.

I need hardly mention cases such as bullying and harassment that follow upon someone';s negative assessment of a person based upon how they look or operate.
If you think you are exempt from this way of thinking...ponder the last time that you saw an obese person, and immediately what you thought of them.

Obese people are a perfect example of what I am talking about. Whether their physical unbalance is due to an intemperate lifestyle, or some illness that makes strenuous activity difficult, or a traumatic upbringing with abuse or deep-rooted depression...people will assume, that the problem is the former. Moreover, the only explanation in many people's minds as to how this person can remain this rotund, is that the person is, shall we say, not too bright.
Unfortunately for the poor person, even if it were to be true, even unintelligent people can tell if they are being patronized, or belittled...because people who assume stupidity in another, do not bother with subtlety.

The same is true for other people who have some physical trait or modus operandi that others can find ridiculous or grotesque or even just unfashionable.
Take for instance, the Blonde woman. A blonde man is in no danger for being assumed an idiot even if he makes a blunder in front of you. But if a BLONDE WOMAN makes an error of some sort, people assume that this is a habit of hers!
How many blonde jokes have you heard? Ladies, how many times have you caught yourself saying "I had a blonde moment"?
Were any of this insulting remarks in reference to a man? If you think about it, it is quite a sexist thing to say, even in jest. And in an extended way, negative inductions based upon sex (or race, for that matter) also fall into what I am talking about.

Some people think that having red hair (either male or female) is an indication of a bad temper. That cliche is based upon a silly generalization about Irishmen and women.

Here are other meaningless excuses someone might find to be rude to a person. What if they have a speech impediment? Tourette's Syndrome? Autism? Downs-syndrome? Confined to a wheel chair?

It does not need to be even that extreme. I have had ten, younger siblings, all intelligent and healthy and rather remarkably beautiful. One was insecure about the fact that his ears stuck out too far forward, and was teased about them.
Two brothers were criticized for having pale skin (before the Edward Cullen phenomenon), another for squinting (before he acquired some spectacles) and for wearing glasses afterward. Another brother was tormented for having a high voice when he was young, and for being introverted and studious, as opposed to athletic.

The women of my age, God help us! Most women can be belittled and objectified for the most trivial reasons. And the worst part is, most people are so explicit about it. Do you want to know how many times I have been told to my face that I am a busty woman (as if it were possible for it to escaped my notice)? Maybe people are so used to thinking of full-figured women as unintelligent sex objects, they did not think that I would feel insulted.

This is nothing compared to the trouble of a lovely lady having broad shoulders, or being exceptionally tall or strong. If she is so, she is labeled as one unfeminine.
Or what of the ladies who are small, petite, short?
The poor dears are swarmed and targeted by the most cowardly bullies. As if having a diminutive stature was a signal of a person with low standards, a frail mind, a submissive spirit?

It really is remarkable how one's thoughts of another can be so deadly. But then again, it makes perfect sense. We are integrated beings. Our bodies want to serve our minds. Our behavior is reflective of our attitude. If we allow ourselves to mentally disregard people, diminishing them and refusing to open our eyes to their good and goodness, why should it surprise us if we begin to act disrespectfully or insultingly to people?

The Benefits of Silence

There is a saying, "Silenzio il la voce del amore"; Silence is the language of Love.

When one initially thinks of silence, a number of unappealing phantasms might bombard one's thoughts; inactivity, boredom, loneliness. None of these associations with the word, however need be true of the idea of silence.

It may well be quiet because you are not doing anything quickly or loudly or with somebody who is fast or loud. That need not mean that nothing of importance is happening.

It is revealing though, that in our culture, we associate importance of action with either noise (what is fame?) or speed (gotta-get-it-done-gotta-get-it-done!).

Some things have to appreciated with listening to sounds, like music, verbal communication, etc., but there are many hidden, buried treasures that can only be unearthed by the most astute listener, when there is not immediate sign of anything to hear.

What can one find in silence? It depends. Sometimes...you might find yourself. When one is all alone with no noise to guide the sojourn of one's thoughts, one might stumble upon what one has always had, but never noticed. Whether the discovery made is consoling reminders of an ancient glory or the whisper of hope for the future, or an old neglected wound in the heart, often the forgotten needs to be revisited.

Other times, in silence, one might find somebody beside one's self. Whether it is a person in need of a friend, or an old fellow sojourner, silence might help you to hear that person's otherwise inaudible pleas. At other times, it is in such moments, when the whole world has stopped its frenzied dance, that you can look into somebody's eyes, and you can see for a brief instant, that person, but only enough to know that you want to learn more. In noise, their might have been to much to distract to have caught his subtle glance. As it is, though you perceive that the catch of your breath and the beat of your heart have stopped, all your soul is free to absorb that brief instant of the infinite.

One last thought, God is another person that your silence might help you to remember. It is one of the many reasons why for centuries, people of many cultures, whether they gathered to pray together, or meditate by themselves in solitude, reverential silence was sought in order to be attentive and receptive of the voice of the Divine One.

Sources of Inspiration for style part 2-The Renaissance

Another period that catches my fancy is the Renaissance. A lot of jewelry, embellishments, adornments, and intricate embroidery suits my flamboyant whims splendidly. I adore long, flowing skirts with ample fine material, snug empire waists or corseted bodices. So romantic!

Sources of Inspiration for style: Part 1, the Middle Ages

I love long, flowing, graceful gowns, made a luxurious fabrics with long sleeves. I have also always loved the idea of mysterious looking cloaks. When it comes to clothes, I do not believe that less coverage=alluring, or that more fabric=frumpy. The idea is, if you want to draw attention to yourself, you can do it in a dignified way. Moreover, it can be drawing attention to interior dignity, strength and grace, rather than stopping at the strictly physical.
I am not saying that pants, or shorter skirts cannot be feminine and romantic looking. Some specimens of their unique charm is for another post.
What I love especially about gowns, though, is how forgiving they are to one's figure. If one tall and slim, they make you appear even more so. If one is curvaceous, the shimmering fabrics skim over your curves and flow away from the body, rather than clinging to them.
I also love long, flowing, silky hair. It is so romantic looking, when done correctly. And so unabashedly feminine, and sure, impractical, at times, but that is half the charm of it.

The Wonder of A Woman's Smile

A Language of Love

An art of coquetry

A foretaste of the eternal

A gentle breeze rippling a veil over a human soul