It has often struck me (no doubt due partially to the melancholic element in my temperament), how people will interact with one another based upon an impression.
We are all aware (hopefully) of the classic scenario of Elizabeth Bennett and Fitzwilliam Darcy. However, I have in mind, at the moment, examples of how people will acquire a negative impression of another fellow human being based solely upon...their physical appearance.
I can certainly understand the temptation (however immature) to judge a person based upon things like, occupation in life, clothing style, worldly success and other such trifles.
But to judge a person based upon something that one has such little control of (namely how one looks) has always struck me as odd. More odd still, because it is so common. Odd, and sad.
It is a very old idea, aging at least back to the days of phrenology and physiognomy. No, truly it is as old as the original sin, itself.
I need hardly mention cases such as bullying and harassment that follow upon someone';s negative assessment of a person based upon how they look or operate.
If you think you are exempt from this way of thinking...ponder the last time that you saw an obese person, and immediately what you thought of them.
Obese people are a perfect example of what I am talking about. Whether their physical unbalance is due to an intemperate lifestyle, or some illness that makes strenuous activity difficult, or a traumatic upbringing with abuse or deep-rooted depression...people will assume, that the problem is the former. Moreover, the only explanation in many people's minds as to how this person can remain this rotund, is that the person is, shall we say, not too bright.
Unfortunately for the poor person, even if it were to be true, even unintelligent people can tell if they are being patronized, or belittled...because people who assume stupidity in another, do not bother with subtlety.
The same is true for other people who have some physical trait or modus operandi that others can find ridiculous or grotesque or even just unfashionable.
Take for instance, the Blonde woman. A blonde man is in no danger for being assumed an idiot even if he makes a blunder in front of you. But if a BLONDE WOMAN makes an error of some sort, people assume that this is a habit of hers!
How many blonde jokes have you heard? Ladies, how many times have you caught yourself saying "I had a blonde moment"?
Were any of this insulting remarks in reference to a man? If you think about it, it is quite a sexist thing to say, even in jest. And in an extended way, negative inductions based upon sex (or race, for that matter) also fall into what I am talking about.
Some people think that having red hair (either male or female) is an indication of a bad temper. That cliche is based upon a silly generalization about Irishmen and women.
Here are other meaningless excuses someone might find to be rude to a person. What if they have a speech impediment? Tourette's Syndrome? Autism? Downs-syndrome? Confined to a wheel chair?
It does not need to be even that extreme. I have had ten, younger siblings, all intelligent and healthy and rather remarkably beautiful. One was insecure about the fact that his ears stuck out too far forward, and was teased about them.
Two brothers were criticized for having pale skin (before the Edward Cullen phenomenon), another for squinting (before he acquired some spectacles) and for wearing glasses afterward. Another brother was tormented for having a high voice when he was young, and for being introverted and studious, as opposed to athletic.
The women of my age, God help us! Most women can be belittled and objectified for the most trivial reasons. And the worst part is, most people are so explicit about it. Do you want to know how many times I have been told to my face that I am a busty woman (as if it were possible for it to escaped my notice)? Maybe people are so used to thinking of full-figured women as unintelligent sex objects, they did not think that I would feel insulted.
This is nothing compared to the trouble of a lovely lady having broad shoulders, or being exceptionally tall or strong. If she is so, she is labeled as one unfeminine.
Or what of the ladies who are small, petite, short?
The poor dears are swarmed and targeted by the most cowardly bullies. As if having a diminutive stature was a signal of a person with low standards, a frail mind, a submissive spirit?
It really is remarkable how one's thoughts of another can be so deadly. But then again, it makes perfect sense. We are integrated beings. Our bodies want to serve our minds. Our behavior is reflective of our attitude. If we allow ourselves to mentally disregard people, diminishing them and refusing to open our eyes to their good and goodness, why should it surprise us if we begin to act disrespectfully or insultingly to people?
