Friday, November 16, 2012

How to Make the Most of a Low Day

If you have dealt with depression (and let's face it, a staggering number of us have, at one point or another) you know what I am talking about when I say "I am having a low day".

You can't move. You can't think. Your mind is a fuzzy, sad mess, as though you had the weight of a head cold, but only with emotional congestion. Wooziness, anxiety, extreme fatigue and sorrow are your constant companions.

Here is a list to abide by, if you can possibly.

1-Sleep.
Go back to bed. At least for a little while, if you can. If you have the leisure, sleep in as long as you need to, even if you have to sleep until four in the afternoon (I have).

2-Do not guilt yourself.
Don't say "But I am not doing anything!" You are doing something. You are taking care of yourself. You are recuperating. This part of the process cannot simply be will-powered away and cannot be rushed. Sleep and giving yourself permission to rest is one of the most important things you can do for your recovery.

3-Take your medication.
And a mutivitamin. Take every pill you need to perscribed by your health care provider. Boom! There, you just accomplished one of the most important tasks of the day! Hooray for you! (happy dance)

4-Pray when you wake up.
Sure, some days you wake up and say, "Good morning,God!"
Others you wake up and say, "Oh God! It's morning!" Either way, at least He is your first thought when you wake up. ;)
Some days we wake up and kneel down by the beds others we pray from on our backs in bed because we are so weakened. Even if you can't get up, at least roll over onto your back and look out a window to look for God in the beauty of the morning, or to the crucifix on your nightstand, or the picture on your wall. Heck, look up at the ceiling fan. He will know that you are talking to Him.  And if you can, say to Him, "God, today I give you my life. I give you my whole day. All of my sufferings, all my sadness, all my weakness, because those are the gifts you want right now.  Because I love you. Because you gave yourself a heart so that you could bleed with me. I believe that  you are fighting this battle with me."
Now, from here, your day is already a whole lot better.

4-Get up. Never mind when.
You will eventually. Try again and get up. You will feel better, I promise.

5-Wash your face.
Brush your teeth. Put on moisturizer and sunscreen.  Sunscreen especially. Because now you won't stay indoors all day because you did not put sunscreen on. Hehe. Look at you go!

6-Look at yourself in the mirror. And do not be negative about how you look. Say out loud to yourself in the mirror, "I am a precious, loveable son/daughter of God. I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Christ purchased my life and hope for my soul with every drop of His blood."
Repeat this again and again if neccessary, until you believe it in your heart.

7-Get out of your room, go down to the kitchen and brew yourself a nice hot cup of tea or coffee. Or pour yourself some milk or orange juice. Sit down and drink it. Open the window and let some fresh air and morning light in (or afternoon light in). If you are like me, you probably will not be able to think about eating, or will have no appetite, or you will just hardly be able to think. So drink the juice or milk  or tea or coffee. The juice will give your brain the sugar and vitamin boost it needs to start the thinking going. Protein from the milk will give your body lasting energy to propel you forward. Tea is very good for you. Especially green tea, echinacea, chamomile and other such herbal delights. Wrap your hands around your mug and let it warm your hands. If you are a coffee drinker like me, the caffiene will trick you into alertness, while calming you down a little. Which is good if you suffer from anxiety.

8. Eat.
This is another important job that nobody else can do for you. Eat something simple and comforting and nourishing. I like oatmeal because I make it hot and fresh on the stovetop and it is so filling and comforting. Grits are good too though, or Cream of Wheat. Eating hot things are good for your stomach. Eat some fresh fruit with your oatmeal. I like mine with cinnamon and a fresh apple or just bananas and milk. Avoid adding sugar, if you can. That will make you feel worse, in the long run.  Or if you don't know how to cook cereal, eat some whole wheat toast instead, and spread some greek yogurt on top with some fresh fruit.

9. Talk.
If you live with somebody, talk to them. Especially if you are feeling anxious or extremely depressed. Talk therapy is wonderful. Sometimes voicing your fears will make you see how unlikely they are to happen. Sometimes ennunciating your sorrow to an understanding person or a good listener will help get some of it out of your system. This is hard work and it is important. Call a trusted friend. Or a family member if one can be had. If none are to be had, call your spiritual director and your counselor. Schedule an appointment if needed.

10-Get dressed.
Because you are stepping out of the house for at least a few minutes.
Shower if you need to, get your teeth brushed again. Get all sunscreenized and mousturized again. This time it will be easier because the second time of the day is always easier. Everybody has jeans and a shirt. Put on a colorful scarf for comfort and style. Maybe it will make somebody smile. Put your shoes on because you are going outside.

11-Put your sunglasses on and step outside.  Take some deep breaths. Look at the sky. If it is bright, take note of that wondrous shade of blue, a shade that stimulates as it soothes simultaneously. If it is cloudy note the different colors in the clouds, so illusive at first glance. If it is gray and overcast, ponder how marvelous it is that something can be so dark and yet so full of light at the same time. Look at the trees. Watch a squirrel. Stretch.

12.Go take a walk. For fifteen minutes at least to a half an hour. But do not overwork yourself, especially if you are prone to fainting. A small grocery store and a dollar store are about a five minute walk from my house, so when I am one that walk, I stop there. If I remember something I need while I am there, I pick it up. Look, now you just got some exercise, and you got some shopping done. You probably needed toilet paper. Who doesn't need more celery and cucumbers? Milk! You can never have too much milk! While you are at the dollar store, look at the greeting card section. If you see something that catches your eye, buy it for a friend.

13. Stop and rest. Sit on a bench. Sit in the  store if you need to. But don't push yourself too hard when you are already tired. Go at a steady relaxed pace. Avoid frenzied places like supermarkets and overly noisy places. For that matter, do not listen to any heavy metal, rap or any music that is angry, moody or sad.  If a car zooms by spewing hatespeech or obscenities, cover your ears. Reject it in that very physical way.

14. Do a good deed. Do you know where the women's shelter is in your neighborhood? How about a food pantry. If it is not too far from your walk, go there and drop off some groceries that you just got from the store. If you need to, get your car. It takes almost no money and almost no effort. Heck, if it is walking  distance, you do not even need to spend gas money. You just get a little more air in your lungs and stretch your legs a little further.

15. Go home and do another good deed.
Get a pen and a stamp. Write a message of encouragement on the card to a friend or an aquaintence or family member that you know is struggling too. Now put it in the mailbox. You just might brighten their day. And look, you just brightened yours!

16-Go look at your closet.
Pick out your outfit for tomorrow.
This will help you remember what you need to do. If you get sad thinking about it, get some more tea going, and another healthy snack. Pick something to wear that is comfortable that has a bit of color to make you smile.

17-Step into the laundry room.
Just one load, I promise. Just one load. Just pick the whites out of the hamper and wash them. You will need whites. If you don't have clean underwear to wear, you are going to be miserable, and our goal here is keep misery at bay! Now while that is in the wash...

18-Empty the dishwasher.
It is super easy.  If you need to take a break while you are doing it, go ahead. If you need to turn on some cheery music while you are doing it, go ahead! Move your feet to the beat. Nobody is watching.  Sing if you know the words. Keep drinking water. Shoot, I forgot to mention...

19-Drink at least eight glasses of water today. One glass when you wake up. Another after you have brushed your teeth and washed your face. Another after breakfast. Another after you have showered. One big one before your walk, another big one after your walk. That is six right there. You are almost there. Then there is after dinner and dishes doing. Dehydration is a big factor in daytime fatigue. You need to stay well lubricated ESPECIALLY if you have low energy. Also it will be good for your skin so your lovely face will greet you fresh in the morning. Keep emptying the dishwasher. Now are there any dishes in the sink. Put em in. The kitchen looks worlds better. Good for you!  Do not worry about the rest. You can fix it tomorrow.

20. By now your day is ending, because your energy is spent and so is the daylight (because you did not have much to begin with and that is okay). So go to your room, get ready for bed (lather on night cream and hand cream and body butter and everything. It will make you look and feel so much better in the morning.) Now relax. If you are on your bed, let your muscels go all limp. Now breathe deeply, and with each breath you take, push away all negative thoughts. Exhale the negative, inhale the positive. Reject the negativity. As you breathe, focus on relaxing the muscles in your face...and then your neck, and your shoulders...and so on down...all the while breathing deeply and inhaling positive thoughts and pushing out the negatives with every exhale.  Place all of your sorrows into the wounded side of Christ. He is carrying your cross with you. Now when you are relaxed at length, say to yourself, "Tomorrow is going to be a good day."

21-Pray one more time.
Dear God, I gave you my day today. Today I loved you as hard as I could. Help me to love you more every day and do a little more every day. I love you. Thank you for today. Thank you for my life.

There you go. Even if you can't do everything on this list yet on your low days, don't worry, you will. And you are not behind. One of the most important things to do is to not let perfectionism or our own ideas of what productivity is ruin our day. No "compare and despair" please! You did the job that God wanted you to do today. Today He wanted you to take care of yourself, and you did. You have had a productive day. The secret is not to panic. To trust in God. He has a plan. He knows what to do. You do not need to carry the weight of the whole world on your shoulders. You do not even have to carry your weight alone. God will carry it with you. Exercising trust, when it is emotionally very difficult, will make all of the difference between a good day and a bad day. God be with us all!

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